I was sitting around trying to figure out what to write about this week when, without warning, I began receiving a barrage of insults in the chat window of my table on Cake Poker.  My opponent went as far as to put a space in the middle of his swear word, so it wouldn’t get picked up by the chat filter (clever, huh?) and proceeded to call me the standard string of names that get thrown out by overzealous college kids that lose a hand in a game they can’t afford to be playing in the first place.

Now, this stuff is nothing new.  I started playing online poker in 2003, and it was never easy to avoid being called names.  That said, what a difference it is to sit at the average poker table these days versus a few years ago! The atmosphere at the table has changed; it’s gotten flat out nasty.  The poker table has always been a competitive environment, but things have progressed to a new level.  You now have people actually looking up the statistics of their opponents on websites such as www.thepokerdb.com and www.officialpokerrankings.com so that they can point out to everyone at the table how much money some guy has lost.  Decency is lost at the poker table these days.

My response to this sort of situation was always a simple one: turn off my chat.  If I don’t want to play in the kiddie pool, it’s easy to just ignore these guys.  Obviously it shouldn’t matter what some kid in some random place thinks about how I played a hand, and in reality it doesn’t matter one bit.  I’ve never been particularly insulted by anything people have said to me at the tables, even when it’s been directed at me personally.

I’m not so worried about people like me, though.  I’ve been around the game for years and know what to expect.  I also get a lot of positives out of poker (like winning money,) which vastly outweigh anything silly like my opponents’ opinions about my play.  Moreover, these really are completely random people.  What do I care what they think?  What do I care in the least whether or not they consider me to be a good poker player?

But what about the other people—particularly the new players?  Not everyone who plays poker is there because they’re making money. In fact, the vast majority are not in the game for that reason.  Most of them simply find playing poker to be an enjoyable way to spend their time.  Why not let them?

I always think of berating opponents at the poker table to be along the same line of a casino host pulling a customer aside and giving them a big hassle over having a winning session at the roulette table.  You don’t ever see that, do you?  You see the pit bosses and dealers smiling and clapping and making the player feel good about his or her win.  This is how you get return customers.  This is how you make sure that there’s always action.  It’s not about being good at the game for most people—it’s simply about having a good time when they play and being able to enjoy it when they get lucky enough to win.

So you should know by now that there are benefits to nurturing a positive atmosphere at the poker table.  What can you do about it?

Well, first and foremost, you can do your part by keeping your mouth shut unless you have something nice to say.  Treat the other people at your table the same way you’d treat someone you meet at a dinner party.  There’s no reason to be rude to them simply because you’re competing with them at the poker table.

By the way, if you’re a winning player you are actually cutting into your profitability by calling other players names and the like.  Only a certain type of player is likely to leave the game if they’re not having fun, and that’s the exact type of player you want filling the seats.  If you’re running your mouth at the table, it’s not much different than giving money away.  Kind of makes you rethink who the donkey is, right?

 The sad thing about all of this is that it shouldn’t even be about what’s most profitable.  The only reason I even point out that particular issue is to demonstrate the sheer irrationality of getting nasty with your opponents.  I really shouldn’t have to demonstrate that acting like a mature adult at the poker table is a good financial decision in order to convince people to do so, but that’s today’s poker environment.  People act on emotion, rather than exercising self-control and considering the long-term implications of their actions.

If playing poker upsets you to the point that you say things to other people that you wouldn’t normally say, then that’s something you really need to work on.  If calling someone you don’t even know nasty names and berating them is part of your normal course of action, then you’ve got even bigger problems than what’s going on at the poker table…  Patch up this leak—it’s one that’s particularly easy to patch.  Just keep your mouth shut and your hands off the keyboard when you lose a pot.

Poker’s a lot of fun.  Let’s keep it that way—for everyone.

2 Comments

  1. Crow says:

    You are right, it’s non stop swearing and cursing online now. I put it down to the online sites being weighty on the ‘action’ side of flops and hands. I think this all goes back to the ‘Is poker rigged’ question.

    The fact that online poker is very suspicious and now there is actually proof that some sites were rigging play (absolute poker).. I think this creates a bad atmosphere among players who just want to see normal flops and play normal poker. Given the chatting option just gives people the option to swear.. and lets face it, if you can swear you will.

    All players try to detach from emotion, well I do, especially when playing for money. But if you look at the moment on google, there is an article about Phil Helmuth losing the plot online and ranting on for ages about how it’s unbelievable.. He doesn’t say ‘it’s rigged’ because it was his own site he was playing on! But how can poker stay friendly when someone who should be leading by example is swearing and losing the plot!

    The bottom line is that Poker is gambling and where gambling exists – degenerates exist. Sad but true.

  2. olddom1538 says:

    Back before the internet,there were ways of handling obnoxious players who berated others.

    If you were playing in some of the classier games, two “associates” would escort the offender to the restroom and “explain” that the loose player was needed for the good of the game. This usually resulted in the offender returning and sheepishly apologizing. Repeat offenders were escorted to the door and dealt with more firmly.

    In some games, you could almost count on the person you were berating setting a piece of hardware on the table and inquiring if you had anything more to say and if you did, was your life insurance paid up.

    Either way, the feedback was immediate, personal, and meaningful. Somehow, online poker does not offer that. Ergo, kids will be kids.

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