I have never been in a fight in my life. I almost got into one once in high school, but it was more of a strategic move to look like I was willing to fight when I was 95% certain that a brawl wouldn’t actually transpire. I don’t remember why it almost went down – some dumb thing in gym class – but I, all 140 pounds of lean skin, bone, and ahem muscle, was toe to toe with one of the biggest guys in my grade, a delinquent who I believe was in prison not long after graduation (I honestly don’t think he graduated). There was a little shoving, but I took the calculated risk that nothing would escalate because in my corner was an even more violent delinquent who liked me. I trusted that he was going to step in and sure enough, my hunch paid off and my eyeballs stayed in their sockets.

That was the closest I’ve ever been to an actual fight. Perhaps I need to play more live poker.

In a simple, relatively low stakes $2/$5 No-Limit Hold’em game at Hustler Casino in Los Angeles Tuesday night, three men got into a heated argument – about what, I don’t know, but I’m sure it was fascinating – and it ended with one of them tasered on the ground.

In a video taken by a player at another table, the three men were standing up, yelling at each other. It appeared to be two against one, with two guys (who look like they could be related) wearing black jackets squaring off against a big bald man.

It was your typical stupidity, lots of “Fuck you,” “pussy,” “bitch,” and “shut the fuck up” thrown around, as casino staff attempted to separate the opposing factions.

And then the conflict escalated for what might be the most asinine reason I have ever seen. Bald guy suddenly yelled the juvenile, vanilla semi-insult, “yo mama,” and chaos ensued. That completely set off one of the black jacket guys, who lunged at bald guy and threw a punch, while yelling, “You say my mother? You say my mama?”

At that point, the conflict had drifted and casino staff couldn’t hold them back. As offended black jacket guy advanced, bald guy picked up a small end table and hit the dude with it. As he wound up for a second attack, a security officer nailed him with a taser, sending him to the ground. Bald guy gave up as the officer told him to stay down, making sure he did by putting a foot on his back.

And that was that.

All three men involved in the fight have been banned from Hustler Casino. Each of them decided to not press charges against any of the others.

Image credit: Eugene Peretz via Flickr

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