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Joan Rivers Calls Poker Players Trash, Annie Duke a Nazi on Celebrity Apprentice
The confrontation between Joan Rivers and Annie Duke was taken to a new level on this week’s episode of NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice. Joan’s daughter, Melissa Rivers, took the fall as a result of her team’s loss, leading the elder Rivers to label all poker players “trash” and call Duke a Nazi in a profanity-laced tirade. Note that this article contains language that is not suitable for all audiences.
Previous episodes have been highlighted by Joan Rivers comparing Duke to Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini. This week’s task challenged the teams to create a four-page spread in Sports Illustrated (SI) for Right Guard Fast Break. Each ad would prominently feature New York Knicks Power Forward David Lee, a rising star in the NBA. Because of last week’s loss, Kotu was down to just two members. Show host Donald Trump sent West Coast Choppers CEO Jesse James to the team, which ultimately chose country music star Clint Black to be its Project Manager. Playboy Playmate of the Year Brande Roderick became Project Manager of the all-female team Athena, which featured Duke and the younger Rivers, who is a producer by trade.
Melissa Rivers immediately threw out ideas for the spread, but was given the cold shoulder by Duke and Roderick, who had formed a bond during recent installments of the popular reality series. Duke told NBC cameras, “Melissa came up with some cockamamie idea. This isn’t for Redbook. This isn’t for some women’s magazine. This is for SI. Men read SI. If that’s her main idea she’s going to offer up, she’s going to be cut out of the process.” Duke devised the idea of shooting Lee entirely nude with a basketball covering his private parts. The idea was later tweaked to include only the waist up. The shot would be paired with a tagline reminding readers that Right Guard was the only thing Lee needed to wear.
The younger Rivers’ annoyance with Roderick and Duke continued to build throughout the episode. She explained, “The way Annie talks and the rudeness and the sense of entitlement and thinking that she’s so much better than everybody else – That annoys me. Annie is beyond arrogant.” Meanwhile, her opponents, Kotu, met with Right Guard executives, who emphasized the importance of the “power stripe,” an important branding element. For Athena, this component of the product was not discussed on air.
Duke created a four-page spread showing a typical day in Lee’s life. Each shot showed the NBA star being comfortable and, more importantly, being dry. Melissa Rivers commented, “Brande thinks she’s in charge of the task, but it’s clearly Annie. Annie is totally manipulating Brande.” The tension in Athena paralleled the strife in Kotu, where Black chose to run with his own ideas, as has been the case in previous episodes. James created the concept of showing how Lee, a small-town kid from Missouri, entered the high-pressure New York City NBA market. While Black incorporated parts of James’ vision, he still brushed off others, leading the motorcycle enthusiast to become detached throughout the episode. He could regularly be seen staring at his Apple computer.
Athena went to a local club to shoot images for its spread. Melissa Rivers directed the photography, but Duke commented, “I think Melissa knows she’s the odd man out, but frankly I don’t need to conspire against Melissa. I think Melissa is doing a good job of conspiring against herself.” James was equally unhappy, stating in a side interview during the task, “Clint sucks. The ad’s cheesy. The layout’s cheesy. The photos are cheesy. It’s a bummer.”
Duke attempted to make Melissa Rivers feel more at home on the team. However, she later told NBC cameras, “Brande told me that Melissa was having a paranoid fantasy about us conspiring against her, so I tried to make sure I was pulling her in privately. It absolutely made it seem like I wasn’t on Brande’s side. Playing cards is all about game theory, managing your opponents, and trying to figure out very logical strategies to counteract. There are ways to manipulate your competitors.” Duke then checked in with the Kotu, attempting to gauge her adversaries’ moods. Joan Rivers, who was seated next to James at the time, critiqued, “Annie plays people so brilliantly. She’s so despicable. She’s so duplicitous. I can’t wait for her to get her first facelift because she’s going to need two doctors.”
James’ frustrations finally boiled over. In the waning hours of the night, he told Black that he disapproved of the team’s final project. The conversation was highlighted by James telling the country superstar, “You need to pack your shit and go home.” The star of CNBC’s “Mad Money,” Jim Cramer, who served as Trump’s eyes and ears during the episode, then visited Athena. His stay included Duke pointing out various areas of the task that she was responsible for, which included branding and the team’s presentation. Cramer was impressed by Duke’s positioning: “I think that Annie set it up so that if they lose, Annie doesn’t take the bullet. It’s a rather remarkable position to be able to take credit for the good, but certainly not be hit if they don’t win.” Duke gave Athena’s presentation to the Right Guard executives, while Black explained Kotu’s message. In the end, the executives sided with Kotu, sending Duke and Athena to the boardroom.
In the boardroom, Ivanka Trump questioned why Roderick delegated the key elements of the task to Duke. The World Series of Poker bracelet winner told the panel, “I doubt that there’s anyone in this game who wants to win more than I do.” While watching from the team’s suite, Kotu’s Joan Rivers quipped, “You’re damn right. You’ll bury your mother for it.” In the middle of the boardroom, Trump passed a note to Cramer, whispered to him, and then reminded the contestants that raising money for charity would mean a considerable amount in the later stages of Celebrity Apprentice. Duke and Roderick are the number one and two fundraisers on the show to date, respectively, leaving Trump to fire the younger Rivers.
The dismissal ignited a melee among Duke, Roderick, and the Rivers family. Joan Rivers told her team, “You have a Nazi and a follower. I don’t work with scum.” Instead of exiting the building immediately, as is customary, Melissa Rivers instead fled to her mother, telling off Celebrity Apprentice staff in the process. To two producers, she stated, “Fuck you. Fuck you. I’m not doing an interview.” Between the edited profanity, the words “whore” and “pit vipers” were clearly audible. Passing Duke and Roderick in the hallway, Melissa Rivers greeted, “Fuck you both. Goodbye.”
Joan Rivers, who was packing her belongings to leave as well, told Duke and Roderick, respectively, “You are a piece of shit. You are a stupid blonde.” Joan Rivers then fired a shot across the bow of poker players everywhere, stating, “Your people give money with blood on it. I met your people in Las Vegas. None of them have last names. You’re a poker player. A poker player! That’s beyond white trash. Poker players are trash, darling, trash.” Both Rivers entered an elevator and left Trump Towers, with Melissa Rivers shouting, “Lying fucking whores.”
Next Sunday, the final five (or four if Joan Rivers has truly quit the show) return at 9:00pm ET on NBC.
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Christine Kennard April 26th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Joan is so sharp and SOOO honest about all the players. Annie IS white trash and DOES get her money from the mob. Brande is dumb. BUTT she can’t see that her daughter is as inept as the other people she reads so clearly.
JOAN, I know how difficult it is to see the truth about your child, but she’s a spoiled brat who doesn’t know how to work for what she gets. I feel for you because I have a daughter who is spoiled and thinks she’s IT! Wake up, Joan, You’re doing Melissa any favors. She will have to face the world one day without you to protect her and she is as much a loser as her counterparts, Annie and Brande.
I love you, Joan, You’re brilliant and perceptive but you’re daughter is NOT!!! FACE IT!